Lebanon, what's something positive about birthdays?

I have one coming up and it saddens me to think about it =( I hate my birthdays so much ... I'll be at school that day, with a project due ... feeling lonely and terrible, people will say "happy birthday" but I doubt anyone actually cares. I know I could have done so much more this year, but I didn't, I'll just be older, I don't want to be older...I know many teenagers can't wait for their birthdays but it's just depressing for me =( No surprises, no privileges, no one, no where, nothing. The ONLY happy thing that I could think of is that I'll be a year closer to death, closer to going home. Would someone like to receive a message from me talking about how bad I feel on that day? Any volunteers? There's no one in this country to talk to really...